Should I give up tiresome friends for Lent?

Sister Maxine  
This Random Nun Clip is brought to you by A Nun's Life Ministry. And one of those questions comes in from Kelly. And she says, "It's not even Lent, and my friends are already talking about what they're going to give up. It's stuff like chocolates and snacks. But I'm on a strict diet, and it's really hard. I've been avoiding my friends, because I don't want to talk about it. Mostly, I just don't want to give up my friends for Lent. Any advice?"

Sister Julie  
Kelly, thank you so much for the question. It can be really tough as you enter into the Lenten season, when you and the people around you, your circle of friends, might have what may seem like competing Lenten goals.

Sister Maxine  
And if you're not sharing that same enthusiasm, it can really seem that way. But we would encourage you, first of all, don't give up your friends for Lent. It can get worked out.

Sister Julie  
Absolutely. And it sounds like you know, when your friends are talking about the chocolate and the snacks, that that can be hard. I mean, I know for myself, when I've made similar choices to change how I think about food, it was hard to be able to take in what other people ... just was commonplace for them, talking about food, being able to eat things that were just not an option for me at the time. I was really hard. And I have to say there are times where it is harder, and it sounds like you're in that space right now. And there are other times, Kelly, where it does get easier.

Sister Maxine  
Adding to the conversation in different ways might be helpful, not just for you, but for your friends to realize that fasting, or giving up, that is just one part of Lent. There are other things in Lent. There's prayer. There's almsgiving. And all of those work together to make our Lent truly a rich experience. So maybe bring some of those elements into that conversation, because maybe they're just kind of locked down to that one thing, and they haven't thought about, what would it be to make prayer a bigger part of my day?

Sister Julie  
That's an interesting comment, because we do have those three aspects of Lent. It sounds like you and your friends find this to be a meaningful season, that this is something that you do take seriously. And so what would it be like? Like you're suggesting, that's just 1/3 of kind of what our commitment is to be. What would it be like to have a conversation about what prayers you're going to embrace? Or what's one of your favorite hymns that helps you to make your way through the Lenten season?

Sister Maxine  
The good thing is ,Kelly, it sounds like your friends are actually excited about this. And that's a great place to start. And so open that door of excitement a little bit further. When we think about almsgiving it's that spirit of generosity, to let that spirit of generosity overflow within us whether it's with compliments to people who deserve compliments, whether it's a hello to somebody who looks like they might be able to use a hello and some warmth on a given day. So it can be almsgiving, in that big sense that generosity of spirit, as well as material generosity.

Sister Julie  
Well, and I might also add another thing here. One of the central themes of went is about being in right relationship, ,certainly right relationship with God, right relationship with ourselves, but right relationship with the world around us and that means your friends. This may be an opportunity. I don't know how much you have said to them. I don't know how aware they are of your diet or of how you feel about it or how challenging some of these things are. But if this is truly a season about right relationship, you know, this may be a doorway into talking with them more about where you're coming from, so that they understand. I mean, they may not quite understand why you're avoiding them. Again, I don't know how much you've said to them. But that may be a Lenten call for you, and for them as well -- to find a way in the midst of this. Because as you said from the outset: don't give up your friends.

Sister Maxine  
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